40+ Hours in a Car
Driving in a car with your spouse or significant other seems to always bring out some sort of conflict. It brings out the worst in one another. One is the back seat driver, one drives too fast, one drives dangerously, one does not pay enough attention, one has bad music taste, and the list could go on. The best thing about the car rides is that true colors always come out and typical topics do too.
Over the past month, we’ve spent over 40 hours in the car together. Always accompanied by Arya (our cat, who surprisingly loves car rides). Along with these 40 plus hours, we also had family and friends as guests to our crazy dynamic. No matter who was in the car, or how long we were driving, 4 main things happen that can be truly telling and comparable to how Stetson and I interact in our marriage.
These four things always end in what I think is the best part of these car rides, the one sign that no matter what, we are in it together. It is the one moment where after arguing about my car anxiety and his road rage, Stetson takes my hand and kisses the top of it. The smallest act with the biggest meaning, we will always be a team, regardless of our imperfections.
When you are in a car with somebody, your true colors come out. When you are in a marriage with that person, those colors are the reason why they fell in love with you in the first place. How could these four things relate to our marriage?
Two-sided podcasts: the two sides of our marriage, how he and I come together to make sense of the world around us. Stetson’s bad music: sacrifice, we all get a little annoyed sometimes, whether it be from bad music or not making the bed (let’s be real neither of us do that), but what that sacrifice means that we are giving part of our time for the other person to enjoy theirs just a little bit more. Road rage and car anxiety: realizing that we truly never are in control. Me being worried about what’s to come and Stetson wanting to do anything to ease it. It shows us that we are a team in and out of the car. We give up control, we sacrifice, and we are patient because that is what makes us, us.
Thanks to all those who endured and survived the podcasts, music, road rage and anxiety with us. You all mean so much to us and hope that we take a drive again soon.
Over the past month, we’ve spent over 40 hours in the car together. Always accompanied by Arya (our cat, who surprisingly loves car rides). Along with these 40 plus hours, we also had family and friends as guests to our crazy dynamic. No matter who was in the car, or how long we were driving, 4 main things happen that can be truly telling and comparable to how Stetson and I interact in our marriage.
- Podcasts: That's right not singular, plural. Stetson loves his podcasts and loves to know both sides. He is the true example of if you have an opinion, you need to be able to argue the other side. In order to do that, you need to know the other side better. This means that we listen to at least 3 different podcasts on a regular basis. These podcasts almost always result in a deep conversation about the way we feel. That “conversation” can turn heated when two very passionate people begin to explain the way they feel. That has always been the case with Stetson and I, it’s one of my favorite things about him and about us. Through simple acts like listening to a podcast and having a conversation, we learn more about one another and find out the passion that drives the other, along with what passions we share.
- Stetsons horrible music: Maybe horrible is an extreme term. I guess particular might be a better word. It is the type of music that you need to get used to, to listen to three times over to appreciate it. The kind where the family and friends in our car couldn’t decide between political podcasts or his music. If that tells you one thing, it should be that they had to make a decision between which one was more annoying.
- His road rage: We all have a little road rage in us, whether we like to admit it or not. This rage can be well hidden or not so much. Stetson’s road rage, I would argue is never hidden and especially not so since we bought a car that doesn’t have a working horn. His road rage is better characterized by getting revenge on those drivers who are unsafe which ironically results in him being the unsafe driver. The three second rule between cards does not exist, going slower in the passing lane on purpose, giving them the death glare as he passes. All of which makes me sink into my seat, with my right foot anchored to the bottom of the car as if I could stop it without having the brake pedal.
- My car anxiety mixed with side seat driving. I'm not sure why I have car anxiety, I think I have an irrational fear of getting rear ended or rear ending someone else. It could also be the fact that I don't want my insurance to increase. (Sorry mom and dad for just figuring this out now) Side seat driving is a lot like back seat driving but you get to blame the back seat driving on the fact that you are a co-pilot with the best intentions. Offering advice, being on the lookout for potential dangers, making sure all rules are followed. I am really good at it. Its me in the marriage too, always looking out for what could possibly go wrong and Stetson determining whether or not we focus on it now or later on down the road.
These four things always end in what I think is the best part of these car rides, the one sign that no matter what, we are in it together. It is the one moment where after arguing about my car anxiety and his road rage, Stetson takes my hand and kisses the top of it. The smallest act with the biggest meaning, we will always be a team, regardless of our imperfections.
When you are in a car with somebody, your true colors come out. When you are in a marriage with that person, those colors are the reason why they fell in love with you in the first place. How could these four things relate to our marriage?
Two-sided podcasts: the two sides of our marriage, how he and I come together to make sense of the world around us. Stetson’s bad music: sacrifice, we all get a little annoyed sometimes, whether it be from bad music or not making the bed (let’s be real neither of us do that), but what that sacrifice means that we are giving part of our time for the other person to enjoy theirs just a little bit more. Road rage and car anxiety: realizing that we truly never are in control. Me being worried about what’s to come and Stetson wanting to do anything to ease it. It shows us that we are a team in and out of the car. We give up control, we sacrifice, and we are patient because that is what makes us, us.
Thanks to all those who endured and survived the podcasts, music, road rage and anxiety with us. You all mean so much to us and hope that we take a drive again soon.